Marriage is what brings us together today

Right before I left, our admin at work kept telling me that she thought I was going to come back from Bali married. Odd, in that she knew I was traveling solo and she had never read Eat, Pray, Love to put such ideas in her head. Well, she was wrong and I won't be coming home married. (Thank god for Bali's quickie divorces.)

But, I did get the lowdown on Balinese courting and marriage from our guide, Wayanarta. (Sidenote:  men in Bali have the same name based on their birth order. Way an means second born, and a name that sounds like Norman is for fourth born.)

Wayan said there are 5 ways to get married:

1- if a man likes a woman, but she doesn't like him, the man will tell his father. The father arranges to kidnap the woman and force her into a room with the man for one day and one night. Meanwhile, the father tells the whole village that she is with the man [thus sullying her reputation and forcing her hand].  After one day and one night, "they are in love and happy."

2 - if a couple loves each other, but the parents don't approve -maybe because of different castes or money - then the couple moves away to the city for 3-5 years. Then they come back and hope the parents have changed their mind.  We asked what happens if the woman changes her mind during the time away.  Wayan said:  no.  They are in love, they are happy.

3 - couple loves each other, parents approve. Easy peasy.

4 - arranged marriage.

5 - MBA (no idea what the initials stand for)  woman gets pregnant while dating, and then they get married. This is a preferred method, because then it is clear that woman is fertile and can provide offspring. An infertile woman is not getting married.

So, in conclusion, between this and farming topless with a sickle, things don't look too great for Balinese women.

Also, there was no trip to Yogyakarta today.  I had problems with my credit card buying the flights. And then, I was struck down with an amoeba or something, and couldn't have climbed temple ruins in 90-degree heat if my life depended upon it. Instead, I slept 21 hours, praying for an end to the pain and a tall glass of water with ice that is safe to drink.