You Ever Been to Bonus Eye-res? I Hunger for the Argentines...

A couple of years ago, I hatched my Law & Order guest star theory: Whenever you see someone on Law & Order who is famous, but wasn't necessarily famous when the role was filmed, you can be sure that the almost-famous person is the killer. Time and time again, this has proven to be true. In fact, it's disappointing when you start watching the show, see Laura Linney, and realize who did it. (As if you didn't have it memorized already.)

So, I was watching a Law & Order SVU that I had recorded earlier in the week. Special Guest Star: Carol Burnett. I wondered if Carol Burnett would be the murderess. Because, I used to have a corollary to my L&O Guest Star theory, which was that famous people who showed up on SVU weren't necessarily the culprits, because who wants to play a pervy killer.

But Carol Burnett. The lady is has just enough moxy to agree to play a pervy SVU killer. I heart Carol Burnett. I love Carol Burnett. Not necessarily because of her show, or the later tragedy that was Mama's Family. I love Carol Burnett from when she played Miss Hannigan in the movie Annie. Other little girls dreamed of playing little orphan annie? I wanted to be like Carol Burnett and play Miss Hannigan. Much more character. Much more bathtub gin. In fact, I think the origin of my lifelong desire to go to Argentina is the duet that CB sings with Daddy Warbucks.

But I digress. I taped the SVU to watch Carol Burnett. I thought she could be a killer, or maybe not. And then. Then. I saw the listing that showed that CB's nephew was being played on the episode by special guest star Matthew Lillard. And then I was torn -- would CB be the murderer, or Matthew Lillard. Would my theory be blown to pieces by the two guest stars.

It all worked out well, though. Theory intact. Both of them were the murderers. And creepy as all get out. CB was a cross between Miss Havisham and Debra Winger in Black Widow. Matthew Lillard was like Tom Ripley crossed with Adolf Hitler. It was ridiculous. Check it out.



Creeeeep-eeeee.

Although that ice blue sweater is kind of nice.