Never trust a big butt and a smile

Yesterday at work, I was talking on the phone to someone about a case I'm working on, when he somewhat randomly declared the following rule of life: Never trust a man in a cape.

I hadn't been expecting him to say anything about capes, because that usually doesn't come up in business conversations. But, I was impressed with his matter of fact style and conviction. And his follow up story about seeing a man in a cape at a poetry reading had me giggling.

Fortunately, I was able to restrain myself from actually discussing the merits of capes, or launching into my longstanding debate about capes versus cloaks. I agreed with the man about the omen of a man in a cape, although secretly I was thinking that a cape is so much better than a cloak.

Lately, I've been concerned that I'm no longer capable of having interesting small talk. (For the perfect example, I need only remind you of the dinner party crash and burn.) And I wondered whether it was time to bring back the old topics of cape versus cloak, or sherpa versus scribe, or my favorite -- what would whale taste like? (I had a theory that it would be like bacon, but later internet research proved it's like chicken.)

When I was clerking right after law school, I remember when we'd have conversations at lunch with the other clerks where it was not unusual to hear someone say something like, "The Constitution is a speedbump..." As much as I loved my lunch companions -- they sent me telegrams for my 27th birthday, how awesome -- another clerk and I used to beg everyone to limit their conversations to things that did or could appear in the purple section of USA Today or People magazine.

Now 10 years later, I somewhere lost the urge to talk about whales or monkeys with fezzes. Last night, at happy hour, someone started talking about a degressive corporate tax. I didn't even try to switch the topic to The Real Housewives of New York City. (Of course, I hadn't seen this week's episode yet.)

I suppose I'm maturing, but if this is 35, I'm not going.