Les Jeux Sont Faits

To quote Ed Rooney, Les Jeux Sont Faits. After 5.5 days of fairly devoted veganism, I quit. I had convinced myself that I would make it to the end, despite my misgivings about life as a vegan. Fortunately, saner minds prevailed.

Last night, my friend Evo was visiting from New York, and we all gathered to go out to dinner. I made us reservations at Founding Farmers, which features classic American comfort food, along with a special vegan menu. Seemed like a good place for the ominvores and the herbivores to meet, greet, and eat. But as we sat down to dinner, Elin and I both agreed that 5.5 days was enough, and that we were done. I'm glad she agreed, because I wouldn't have stopped the venture if she hadn't also. Plus, the minute we agreed to stop, I felt like a weight had lifted. The whole week has been kind of stressful.

So what did I learn from the week. That Tofitti sour cream sucks? That Oreos are supposedly vegan? All true. But here's what else:

I think it's hard to be a vegan, but particularly if you don't have a strong moral conviction about meat. As much work that's involved, it's difficult to sustain the energy and motivation if you don't really care about whether there is meat or dairy in something. Vegan for vegan's sake is not enough.

On the other hand, it does make you very mindful of what you are eating, which is a step in the Michael Pollan direction. It's unbelievable how many unidentifiable ingredients are in the food we eat every day. And, rarely had I stopped to think about it before.

An added bonus from the week -- I remembered that I like to cook. And I learned that it's a good idea to read the recipe beforehand. And prep everything beforehand. And that I don't like chiptole. (The pepper, not the restaurant. I actually had a delish vegan lunch at the restaurant one day.)

Was it worth it? I think so. I'm glad to have done it, but even more glad to end early. Because as I said last week, I really like quitting and the relief it brings.

And Now, The End is Near

Day Four, and I'm over the idea of being a vegan for a week. I spent the day feeling alternately cranky, barfy, and sick of starchy carbs.

If this experiment were a marathon, today would be like mile 20, running up First Avenue, hitting the mental wall. Except...there's no free t-shirt, no promise of a shiny mylar cape when I'm done, and it's really closer to running mile 14 somewhere out in Queens, since I just passed the halfway mark.

Strangely enough, I'm not really craving meat, so much as I'm craving vegetables. I know that sounds weird, since I can eat all the vegetables I want. But, in my effort to seek protein and avoid dairy and meat, I have been stocking up on lentils and beans, and have missed the green vegetables. I guess the idea of eating a big bowl of brussel sprouts didn't cross my mind.

Tonight I set out to make a black bean and squash chili, but ended up throwing the whole thing out. The squash had gone bad, so I couldn't add that. Then, when I tasted the beans and tomato base to see what I could add to it, I realized I don't like anything chipotle flavored. So, out it went. Meanwhile, I learned that Ritz crackers are vegan.

So, I'm thinking about throwing in the towel. It's been a fun four days. And the first couple of days were good. But this evening I feel blech. The whole point of this endeavor was to try to cook more healthy things. But instead, I found myself scarfing on Ritz crackers, instead of salad, because the only salad dressing I have in my house is non-vegan. That just doesn't make sense. And I don't even have a moral hang-up about eating meat and dairy -- I just wanted to force myself to cook more and to eat a little healthier.

I'm giving it one more day to see if things turn around.

My So Called Vegan Life

Day three is nearly over, and I'm excitedly close to the half way mark. The first two days of this challenge went swimmingly well, despite eating dinner out two nights in a row. Actually, it was probably because of eating dinner out.

Last night I went to Zengo, and vegan dinner was fantastic. They had a separate menu that they brought with gluten-free and vegatarian items, and it even had instructions on how to make vegetarian items vegan. Thus, no stress of interrogating the waiter about whether there is fish sauce or butter used in various menu items. Plus, the food was delicious. We had a payapa salad, some rice noodles with snow peas and cashews, fingerling potatoes, and best of all, arepas with shitake mushrooms.

And then came Day Three. The day I stopped worrying and started to love the bomb. Er, the day I decided that my newfound love for lentils was an illusion. Partially because I have eaten them for too many meals in the past three days, and partially because I am the victim of a bad recipe. Or two.

Dinner tonight was a disaster. I made a sweet potato and lentil stew. Somewhere along the way, the idea of sweet potato and lentil stew became cemented in my head. Maybe it was a NYT article. Maybe it was a cooking website. Anyway, this fall I went looking for something using sweet potatoes and lentils, and fell upon a Thomas Keller recipe. So, when I was thinking about going vegan, I thought perfect -- I'll make the Thomas Keller recipe of delicious lentil stew. Until I looked at the recipe again. And realized it involved a pound of bacon. Which was probably why it seemed so delicious.

Anyway, I figured that I couldn't leave out all the bacon, and went looking for a vegan-friendly recipe. Instead of a beautiful, bacon-scented stew, I ended up with a big bowl of sweet potato and lentil curry mush. It was like the sweet potato casserole from Thanksgiving. But instead of marshmallows and brown sugar, there were lentils and spinach. And lentils.

Still, I ate the dinner. And as I was choking down spoonfuls of curry mush, I was thinking that if I had to choose a healthy meal, I'd much rather eat my mediocre vegan stew than an omnivore's plate of chicken and brown rice. Maybe this is how the conversion begins...

You Can't Win Friends With Salad

Day one of the vegan adventure went pretty well. In the morning, I went shopping for my various and sundry vegan items for the week. I decided to go to a regular grocery store and see how well I fared. I took a long time because I was reading labels -- there are so many ingredients in things that I don't even know what they are. And also, I couldn't find non-green lentils. So, looks like I'll be heading to Whole Foods or a health food store anyway.

The real challenge yesterday was dinner at my friend Kate's house. I had purposefully planned this week thinking that I had no social obligations. But, dinner last week was postponed to this Sunday. Fortunately, we had talked about having pizza, and folks kindly agreed to order from a place where you could substitute vegan cheese. (Which I ended up skipping, because this place had a pizza without cheese that you could order. I decided that no cheese is probably better than fake cheese.)

As a gesture of goodwill -- heh -- I offered to bring a vegan dessert to dinner. After much ado and the realization that I couldn't find graham crackers at Harris Teeter without honey, I ended up making something that was supposed to be a vegan brownie. In the end, I think it would have been better suited for caulking gaps in my kitchen floorboards. It was gummy and strange, with no resemblance to brownies or anything remotely delicious.

Still, dinner was a success, even if the dessert was dismal and I lost at Scrabble. Tonight is the real challenge -- dinner out at Zengo, which features asian-latin small plates. I goofed, and thought dinner was planned for next week. I'm a little dubious about the menu offerings, and fear I'll be feasting on a tiny plate of overpriced seaweed salad. Maybe this is how the Oprah producer lost 11 pounds...

Let's Begin Again, Begin the Begin

A few weeks ago I was watching Oprah and her 25th Season hoopla. The episode featured food revolutionary Michael Pollan, plus a vegan lady who convinced Oprah to get her entire staff to go vegan for a week.

It was interesting to imagine a whole office of maybe 500 people going vegan at once. Did they really want to go vegan, or were they bowing to the whims and pressures of their powerful boss? Plus, how easy is it for Oprah to be vegan, given that I'm sure she has someone shopping for her and cooking for her. Along the same vein, how easy was it for her staff to be vegan, given that the Harpo cafeteria was serving delicious vegan meals, too.

Still, despite my doubts about how voluntary the experiment was -- and whether it was a good idea to spend a week as a vegan eating fake chicken nuggets -- I was intrigued by the notion of going vegan for a week.

First, I have had Michael Pollan's book, The Omnivore's Dilemma, on my bookshelf, waiting to be read, for at least six months. And, though I've passed on it numerous times in favor of Star magazine or some pulpy mystery novel, I like the general idea of his mantra: Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants. One of my unspoken New Year's resolutions this year -- in addition the annual resolution to moisturize more -- was to try to cook more, possibly with lentils. Becoming vegan for a week would force me to cook more.

Second, I like a challenge. I recently completed my Sarah Palin Workout Challenge 2010, wherein I agreed to work out a certain number of times per week. If I missed a workout, a friend of mine would donate $10 for every missed workout to Sarah Palin's PAC, or some other politician (I use that term loosely) that I would find equally loathable. I did this for about six months, and didn't miss a workout or donate a single dollar to SarahPAC. That ended a few weeks ago, and I could use a new challenge. What could be more challenging than being a vegan.

Third, I like challenges that only last one week. I may be type A, but I really enjoy quitting things. It's liberating. And highly underrated. One week is just long enough to feel like you accomplished something, and then you get to quit.

Finally, amidst the multitude of comments about bathroom habits and Oprah's declaration that Harpo went through a record number of toilet paper rolls, one male producer mentioned that he lost 11 pounds in one week as a vegan. Okay -- you got me. 11 pounds? Results may be atypical, and maybe this guy snacked on sticks of butter before his week as a vegan. But, 11 pounds is compelling stuff.

So, here I am, approximately one hour into my decision to spend a week as a vegan. I've got a file folder full of recipes, and almond milk in the fridge. I've recruited my friend Elin to join me, because she's the most disciplined person I know. (Or is it just that misery loves company.) I have a shopping list that involves chickpeas, squash, and two different kinds of lentils. And most importantly, I have a blog where I can share my travels through a cheese-less world -- and answer the question whether a cheese-less world is a world worth living in.